New Years Eve

This day is epic. The pendulum of my focus rhythmically sways, circling, defining and denying time ~ past, present and future. All that has been, in this moment, can only be a memory. All that will be, in this moment, can only be possibility. All that is, in this moment, is all there truly will be, opportunity.

~ New Years Eve ~

What dreams are idle, waiting
For attention & permission to come true?

What fears are active, full of attention, hindering you?

Who or what is blamed for your unhappiness,
Your job, money,  kids, health? 

Why is it that you prefer poverty over wealth?

When will you enable the greatest expression of your love?

What will it take to let go and rise above?

Where will you be, if you aren't here now?

This is the time you get - no later, no sooner, no matter how.

Let go of the past and bring in the New Year.

Enable your love and release your fear! 

Love Tina

Drama Mongrels

Oh! I can be such a drama mongrel. My emotions get all fired up; I direct my attention to the perceived cause, usually a relative, friend, random person or situation. I unload an arsenal of thought and energy matter that not only juices up my physiological chemistry with adrenaline and other feisty chemicals, but effectively generates enough Mojo to zap whomever or whatever I have determined to be the root of my distress.

Grandma is my most recent point of contingency. That's right, this 85 year old, sassy pot of stewing manipulations, became my holiday host of, "Drama to the Max".  This year she cast her spell and snagged me line, hook and sinker. I'm still reeling from the ease at which I succumbed to the temptation of DRAMA. To my credit, I was skilled enough to recognize the need to establish a personal boundary. Despite this however, I continued to engage in the story, and ravenously fed on the chemical frenzy present in my body. Not only did I indulge in adrenaline cocktails, but I extended a generous offer to several other people, in hopes that they too would join my Pitty Party! Happily some people jumped right in! It was a serious Ho Down for a while!

What a conundrum! Drama can be so exciting and usually contributes to the validation that life happens to me. Why on earth is it so difficult to control drama addiction? Because, my ego still has a good grip on my spirit, simple fact, difficult equation. In the end I tend to recall that life does not happen to me, I happen to life.

Few people tend to make it through holiday activities without being engaged in some sort of family drama; drunk uncles; angry aunts; crazy cousins and greedy grandmas can all offer grand opportunity for drama success. The key is to learn from emotional upheaval and apply skills that will help strengthen ones resolve not to participate as a drama-addict. Learning to observe and let go of unhealthy temptations and behaviours before they manifest beyond ones ears is challenging.

In hindsight I am amused and enlightened. Now that time has passed, smoothing the jagged edge of temptation, I get to create opportunity for clarity and improved Grandma relations. She may be 85 and feel as though age demands respect and offers excuse for nasty behaviour, however I don't think so!

Dear Grandma,

Thank you for being such a butt head this holiday season. You're contribution has enlightened me! I look forward to both of us enjoying one another's company in the near future, however must address new boundaries and share my perception regarding the breakdown in our relationship..

Because we both enjoy vying for attention and control let's start here...

Please keep in mind I trust the bond we have and value that you are someone whom is willing to be vulnerable with me as we have both gained from shared honesty in the past. I look forward to your thoughts on this matter.

Love,

Tina